15 Years ago... <3

15 years ago today I was admitted to a lockdown treatment facility at age 17 years old , facing all the wreckage I had created, facing all my demons I'd hid from, hurting and hating myself because of them.

15 years ago today I decided to stop running and to look fear in the face. It was never easy. It was hard and painful and sometimes felt impossible, but inside I knew I was so much more than the pain I'd lived in.  I knew I was so much more than the darkness I'd let consume me. I realized I had a choice to make myself strong again. Thus began the journey to clear the wreckage of my heart and mind, come to terms with some of the most painful times a young woman could possibly endure, trapped in my own mind. 15 years ago I decided to set myself free.
There's so much more of my story I want to share -layers upon layers- not because I really want to expose it but because I believe I went through that darkness to find the strength and light in myself and know that I can help others come through their own darkness too.

We all have a story, we all have a past, but it's the lessons and love we find within it all that truly allows us to be free and move forward and not define us. I realize I have a huge part to play in creating the life I want by deciding that I deserve love and happiness and adventure! I am not alone ...and the truth is I never was. Who I truly am shines brighter than any dark spot or demon ever could!
I embrace these lessons of life knowing I'm strong, beautiful inside and out, brave and full of magic!  I trust in the process of the Universe because it has continued to surprise me for years! I'm grateful for my life and the amazing people in it. I'm grateful for the  love and support from my family,  & friends- my soul mates who continue to see the beauty in me especially when I cannot. Today I know who I am and love this woman! I fought  for who I am and I won. Today I see the light and beauty within myself and others and it is my gift!
There are always challenges and struggles in life and we face them as they come. Regardless, I remain strong, grateful and committed to being the best person I can be. When fear comes,  I realize the darkness still exists, but is to remind us of how strong and beautiful you are and that no matter what we CAN  keep going. I realized years ago and  I understand I needed these experiences to become truly who I am meant to be: a strong, passionate, creative,  adventurous and loving woman!  I meant to help others walk through their darkness into light by living a life of love and sharing the truth, the beauty and the moments that I see as absolute MAGIC IN ACTION! I am meant to work as a conduit for spirit so that more love can come through me! I am meant to help others Shine and Shine for myself as well! I am grateful to be alive! I am grateful to be me! Thank you Universe!